“I am the man with the heavy heart, and I dare not turn the pages.
Riding with automatic self destruction.
Is a blind faith, a cruel waste, one bitter taste.
So I know I need this sweet sensation.
Ooooh Sweet sensation,
The music that we play,
Will ease your mind.”
- Chase & Status FT Liam Bailey: Blind Faith.
“So this will be a super long post I will break it up with some tunes ”
So 21012 aye the year that kicked off with a hiss and a wobble .
How have all my pretties been ? I hope you’re well and happy
and as for me you ask? well its been crazy as per usual and i didn’t realize it had been so long until i went to have a look,so for that im sorry guys.
But if you’re anything like me you don’t need too much blah blah blah on your cancer blogs.
2011 finished with 2 lots of my friends getting engaged,and started off with Andy c base in your face on the 1st jan quickly followed by a bloody decent shake, I swear it happened coz Nichola came home (i’m pointing at you missy just like the evil monkey, on the topic of monkeys we will get to that and how i now have to have rabies shots) My treatment is going ok i’m still on the hormone blockers and well fuk me the hot flushes are bloody rampant but thats ok,think god we have a super king size bed for the four us,and as for the boobs well i’m now seeing Sally Lanlegy everybody raves about her,she seems nice but i have now come to the conclusion the docs have no sense of humor and do not find me funny which i find very sad that they don’t realize how super sparkly awesome I am.
But in all seriousness I am not aloud a expander in,it was fuking deverstating I have to have a tram flap,(look it up on my facebook) which means they will now chop my back up so im not too pleased,but after all of my “I don’t give a shit i’ll just have one boob” vigor has fallen to the wayside i’m sick of not been able to feel like a normal person,and I have made dam sure that I won’t have porno boobies as the doc suggested that I get a C or a D cup , excuse me while i get back on my chair a nice tidy B cup will be fine thanks and if I want them bigger I can just watch jenna marbles guide on how to look like you have big boobs vlog
and on the upside I got to play with a box of breast implants,yea you hear that fellas jelly much?
So my dear beloved friend johnny and his wonderful little lady alex got engaged on xmas eve,i was surprised when i saw the pic on facebook and tex him to find out what the fuk was happeing and threated to tell his mommy ………..too late she was there. wish you gave me a heads up sunshine
So at the beginning of march we shot over to melbourne to go to their engagement party (side bar to virgin air lines ffs can you have a self scan at chch air port because queing up for over a hour with only carry on and almost missing your flight, even after you have asked ppl what’s happening and can you help us fell on deaf ears,will make a girl fukn mad considering i could have had my boobs done in 2 days ( they had a delayed flight and didn’t set the ques up right so i have confirmed it was their fault not ours and the 15 other ppl near us)
But we got there and it was awesome the moomba carnival was on and fashion week and friends thanks to shell and the boys for having us,oh there the engagement party was………… on a boat mother fuckers,yea thats right on a boat !! Awesome much? and i must confess i did make mike play titanic with me,“yes baby you are the king of the world and yes i can fly” and to all those young kiddies out there just like the holocaust happened, the titanic was a real ship ffs , i use the holocaust as a example coz
you know old mel gibson has gone on one of his rants again.
As will I at some point.
And here is the musical intermission (que the dancing candy bars)
“My body needs a hero
Come and save me
Something tells me you know how to save me
I’ve been feeling weird (oh)
Oh, I need you to come and rescue me
Make me come alive
Come on turn me on
Touch me, save my life
Come on and turn me on
I’m too young to die.”
- David Guetta and Nicki Minaj “TURN ME ON”
The second half of march were met with 30 something plus weather in bali (now we can get to the monkey story) so bali have you been? i don’t really rave about it come across as somewhere that would have been fab ten years ago , i’m not sure 100% why i didn’t like it it just had that vibe that you were going to get shafted left right and center, (i have been to other asian countries and not felt this way at all) yes it 3rd world but its not. i think its a shame the locals have completely stripped away their identity for a bastardized version of itself that caters to the westerners,overflowing with middle aged over tanned overweight,and under clothed masses getting their fill of sun a cheap beer WERE SUNSCREEN YOU SILLY FUCKERS even up in ubud same thing i missed that feeling of having to try and understand a culture,and their food is a big component of that.
We did stumble across a cute little local place with sticky holey table cloths one rickety fan and ants crawling on the table ,thats was as close to local as we were going to get food and for $15 nzd inc a 30% tip we were well fed and watered ,and one night when we’re trying to find a yoga class to get rid of our excess noms i sat down on a bench next to monkey forest under a light and to the left of i couple of monkeys was the night they attacked . i was fixing a plaster on my foot and mike came over sat down and then it happened this monkey threw itself at mike and ripped a 1lt bottle of water out of his hands and bounced off and perched itself on a ledge and ever so casually unscrewed the lid chucked it too the side and started drinking from the bottle that’s when the other monkey jumped on my shoulder and bit me i get up it tries to jump on mike and he bats it away as we start running down the street by this point i’m on the verge of tears think,ing are you fukning kidding me i have just been thru all this and now i’m going to die by the bite of a monkey…
My saving grace was i had a t-shirt on and it didn’t break the skin all tho i had the in-dent of monkey teeth on my back for a few days, with a very small graze, but shit it hurt , im sure most of you have been bitten at some point so you know what i’m talking about.. we walk down to the supermarket and i ask for something to clean my bite with, the give me iodine (according to my doc thats what your meant to use fyi and me trying to act out you know monkey it bite you know bite? (as i chomp chomp my teeth) poor lady ,so now i’m home and i have had 4 rabies shots and 1 tecnass shot and these cost a shit load and gave me very bad side effects i haven’t felt that sic in months and rang up emergency in the early hours of the morning to talk to a doc and to pre warn them i might be showing up and to get a room ready , but after what seemed like an eternity i feel asleep and woke up only feeling 99% like death rather than 1500000000000000% and after about four or five days i was feeling ok again, and after the last one i only felt a bit tired and just drained , but that’s not far from the norm for me .
“Im like Huston I think we got a problem”.
- Conor Maynard Can’t say no
(sorry I have a soft spot for things that sound like a boy band)
And the last of march/ beginning April dj hype tore down the bedford, dj fresh burned up the cpit building where we had bunny ears on and we were handing out easter eggs ,coz thats how we roll.
The days have now got a crisp feel,so in a couple of weeks i’ll be off to the docs again, the neuro surgeon about my arm as its being a bastard , and the other one doesn’t feel too flash either , and i will also get to see bridget I haven’t see her in six months poor thing she must be missing me like crazy , but i have been keeping in touch with emails as the UTI’s have been, well not pleasant at all i have them every day.
Some i can manage with some ural, some im stuck in the bathroom crying hunched over in pain , sobbing for mike to bring me pills and ural and pain killers. last night was a prime example earlier that day we had lunch with mikes family at she chocolate, i should have remembered and i should have known better, sugar is bad for you any way but its really bad if you’re prone to bladder infections so a few hours after my baileys hot chocolate and half a chocolate platter my body decided to be super mean and kick me in the pants literally. Not flash at all. Poor mike i’m so super grateful that he looks after me and takes my crap and that he hopefully realizes that the old liz is somewhere inside this crazed monster.
Got your hands up cause you think you’ve got it
Going crazy, we’re not even started.
- DJ Fresh FT Rita Ora “hot right now”
xoxo to the easter party crew