Chase Status – Take Me Away

So new year, new round of chemo, we meet a lady 36 I think she’s just had a hysterectomy, bladder chopped, spots on her liver and kidneys,and yet shes still kind of in bloody good spirits although I daren’t ask how long she has, as I know she is fuked once your that riddled the only thing the chemo doz is buy you time ,and for her that’s a good thing she has small kids, and the worst part? bad doctoring , as I have said I have spent thousand on docs over the past year or so , fuk sake people its only money and scoff you might but when your fuked like her what good is money? , I now clearly remember when I first had chest pain , me Fef and Abi were in iconic for some un known reason, and I had clutched my chest in pain thinking I had ha too many red bulls ,may be right 10 was my daily dose but the pain was were my tumours were, and then the IF factor jumps back into the mix , but I had the same shit house doc who missed my endo for years ,and said I had a strained sternum when I complained of crippling chest pains, and that was like 4 months before the new doc on his first visit found my tumours , so for the love of god stay away from Selwyn St medical, coz now at 27 I had a cancer that was just about to spread with the highest hormone marker you can have so fuk u very much.

But anyhoo chemo day a new round of being checked into hospital 3 hours after the first reaction, for a few days sick with a drip attached to My arm, and a new reaction to the meds they gave me to help my sickness the first was a rash before for I even left the chemo suite and I started to panic as I had sent mike and Mel home with the caps fuk fuk fuk , the second was a few hours later when I check myself in to the ER for the god knows how many time this illness, which resulted in me having what I describe as a fit with arms and legs all over the show, first laying down and then sitting up begging the nurses to make it stop, well guess what the only thing to stop it was time ,and it did thank god , my doctor this time was a tiny little Asian lady which I don’t like, as I had to fight with her to get more fluids. but the ER nurse was awesome and just said tell me what you need as you cancer patients know what’s best, yay for her she’s awesome, boo for the doc who I think she thinks I’m being a little bitch also coz I only want my anti sick meds given to me thru my drip as they make me less ill feeling that way.

Oh how long did I have to wait for meds and new fluids 3 bloody hours, 3 hours in the middle of the hot day ,and I was still peeing red from the chemo (the red devil FEC does that ).

Wendy comes to visit that’s nice we figure out the nurses hair is a weave and ask lots of questions she looks kind of surprised we know its one. And then Mike comes back and I ask to leave, to go “down stairs” to get tea, down stairs resulted in me the drip and mike at le cafe lol, and me half a hour late for my meds but oh well, all’s well that ends well at this point in time I guess.

Oh and I now want the other boob off I’m not spending my dam life scared it will come back in the other one, and having to put up with the cold caps again yes they are a god send, fanfukintastic, but just thinking of them makes me sick, but I’m far from bald no one even knows, that is great. I don’t care talking about it but I don’t want the dam pity looks that come with the stigma of having no hair, as I constantly say it’s bad enough looking like a bloated crack whore, but not a bald one thank you very much.

After Wendy has gone, I go in to the lounge and end up chatting to this young girl. 25 cervical cancer, low grade though so that’s good poor thing though, then we meet a family, their poor aunty she’s passing away right in front of them, god it’s just sad, I wish I had better words to describe it, but what else can you say, so I go down with all the change I find in my bag as its late and the shop is shut and the vending machines only take coins and I get them lots of candy, in the hope that it might make a small difference, and after me and Mike come back from Le Cafe me with my drip no makeup and bright pink PJ’s on I offer them my bananas and oranges and juice, no one wants it but yet again you can only ask, so now its round four am I need to pee, you do that a lot round here I notice they Are asleep in the lounge and I cover most of them with blankets, yet again in the hope it will make it a little better, poor them poor her 63 I think not old enough to die, she looks younger than that even though I just took a glimpse and her hair has grown to about a number 6 which is nice, at least she can look a tiny bit like herself I hope for everyone’s sake.

So yet a and again with heavy heart and a full bladder, we need to take a minute and pray for all that I have seen and heard this week for the family’s that will lose the loves of their life because of a few million rouge cells that wouldn’t behave themselves, for the loss that they might not get another day ……thank you and good night.